Pregnancy Loss: My Story Breaking the silence

Before I begin this post I just want to be completely honest and transparent with all of my readers. Please don’t feel sorry for me or for us, we have the power of God’s LOVE who has given us the power to overcome with faith and hope.

I have decided to move forward and I’m going to be okay, I really believe that. I just wanted to express myself and it’s through my writing.

Most people didn’t expect me to come out and share the sad news of my pregnancy loss, especially on social media of all places. With so many people announcing their great news while others who lose their opportunity grieve in silence.

I think it’s great that people share their happiness with the world however you never really hear the sad news. The news that a couple who had been trying for a child loses their pregnancy and the husband is deployed 6,000 miles away.

Let’s go back to the day that doctor saw the baby but didn’t hear the heartbeat. The day I found out that my pregnancy ended in miscarriage was hard, I was scared, sad and just didn’t understand.

Usually 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. This happened to me before, a year before I had my son, my rainbow baby. Although my heart was excited to finally announce my pregnancy my mind knew something wasn’t right that morning.

My nerves were all over the place and I couldn’t shake this feeling that something wasn’t right. A week before I had my ultrasound appointment, there was a day when I felt complete sadness, I didn’t know why. My body had already started the grieving process of the loss of the pregnancy.

I decided to share my story this time around because I’ve been down this road before years ago. That time in my life was dark and I suffered alone. Many times women don’t share that they loss a child( miscarriage)because they’re either scared, ashamed or hurt by the pain of loss. Did you know 1 of 4 pregnancy will end is miscarriage? I am the 1 in 4 ,twice now.

To be able to carry a child is a complete miracle that so many women take advantage of. Breaks my heart when I see so many women complain about being pregnant especially when I would give anything just to have my pregnancy again and make it to the very end.

I ended up having emergency surgery the very next day and I was in good spirits. I was ready to say goodbye to this very short chapter in my story.

I was completely shocked of all the women who reached out to me privately to let me know that they experienced loss too. From women who loss early on their pregnancy to having stillborns. So many women suffer in silence.

I’m not sure why this has happened to me again, but I will not be ashamed to keep it in and have sadness in my heart.

Sometimes God will lead us down a different path to show us what exactly we need.

I know one day I will get to see my babies again that I have loss. I just don’t want to stay in a mind of frame of grieving , so I’ve chosen to be strong and move on. This pregnancy just didn’t line up with the plans God has for me at this moment. I’m not going to question God and ask why. The lord never says no, sometimes his yes is not right now. God says he will give us the desires of our hearts if we believe and I really trust what he says.

(Some of images used are not mine, I do not own the rights, images courtesy of google)

Just know I was in a place of sadness,however, I’m not in that place anymore. I have grieved the loss of my child and have moved on. Doesn’t mean I will forget the loss of my precious baby, it just means god has healed my heart. I have chosen to move on. Of course I have my days where I’m sad but it’s okay, I’m human. Please don’t feel sorry for me. Prayers are the best thing anyone could ever do for me.

Thanks again to my great support system for loving me through the difficult time of my life. If you’re a woman who gets a chance to make it to the end of your pregnancy without any complications just complaints. Remember someone would give anything to be in your shoes. Count your blessings.

Thanks for reading!!!

Give God A Chance, A REAL Chance

Give God a chance

I love to write when I’m inspired by things that I’ve personally experienced to help encourage someone who can relate to me on some level.

Any chance that I get to talk about God’s hand over my life and how real he is – I will.

There’s nothing fake about how much Jesus has changed me and has blessed my life. The same blessing I have through Christ, you can have it to, but first you have to give God a chance. Give God a real chance to fulfill his purpose over your life. Anyone reading this, has a real purpose.

There may be someone reading this right now who may be having the toughest battle with life, people and relationships; the lord told me to tell you to give all your problems to him. God loves you and will see you through whatever your situation is, just give him a chance.

So many times people do not have patience and want The Lord to be a right now God; everything is about give me, give me and more give me. People forget that some of the best unanswered prayers are the best ones, for our protection or even blessings.

When life doesn’t always go the way we plan as a people, we can give up on God without ever really giving God a chance to fix our circumstances.

This Generation is so quick to tell others that there is no God and make others question his existence. Usually those people didn’t give God a real chance. Just ask yourself have you really given God a real chance?

My constant testimony is on how God changed me , it is what confirms my belief that Jesus is who he says he his. Let God take your heart and your pain. Sometimes God has to really break us to get our attention.

The more my walk and faith grows with God, the more I trust him. This didn’t happen overnight for me, let’s be honest. I was one of those people who believed in Jesus, however, I didn’t ever really give him a chance. My relationship was very lukewarm, always putting God on the back burner. Then one day I gave everything to him and I just wept. There I was going through some of the most challenging times and not relying on God to see me through.

One of my favorite scriptures in the entire bible is

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I could cry thinking how God knows every situation and every battle; that God loves you so much to conqueror it all if you let him.

To the person who may need this, you aren’t alone, give God a real chance and watch him change your life. God is love.(all images used are courtesy of google, I do not own the rights)

Thanks for reading

-Mia

Life Updates (2/20/18): Answering your questions!

Life updates and a few changes

Many of you have wondered where I have been? It’s been a hot minute since my last blog post. Please forgive me, so much has been going on.

Let me first address the questions I constantly get asked.

Why did I return to making videos on YouTube?

Initially when I decided to stop making YOUTUBE videos, it was because I had a lot of people following me on there that were just nosey folks or ex associates that didn’t care to communicate in real life;basically stalked my every move online.. It was really bad. But I have made a choice to start again and won’t let anyone stop me for doing what I love. Plus YOUTUBE is my creative outlet to just be free and do what I want.

I also felt at that previous time that the content I was putting out wasn’t authentic and just wanted to stop all together. It was a good break and gave me an opportunity to start over and fresh. Fast forward to now; I’m doing what I love and most people don’t know I’ve started over. I’ve had a few people comment on how much they can relate to me. Now my videos focus on what I love like my family, my relationship with God, food, college and my home.

I wanted to capture moments to look back at, I’ll discuss that further down. I know I have several readers across the world and if you want to see more of a glimpse of my life check out my channel Mia Joy!

What about school? How is college? Are you still applying for the dental hygiene program?

School is very time consuming, I spend hours studying and doing homework. College is a lot for me to handle right now, but I’m managing just fine. Yes, I plan to apply to the dental hygiene program next year or the year after depending on my grades.

Is your husband is deploying again? For how long and where?

For OPSEC reasons I can not disclose any information for the protection and privacy of my husband and family. Yes, my husband will be deploying. Can’t share any more details:)

How is your mom? Is your mom still living with you?

My mom is good, yes she is still living with us temporarily.

Another baby soon or are you guys trying ?

We have come to the conclusion we would like another child, however, we are patiently waiting with God’s timing. Hope that answers,lol.

Any updates on Jaxon Speech therapy and diagnosis? We are on a wait list to see a developmental pediatrician specialist, the wait list is 4 to 6 months. While we wait for a diagnosis, my son will continue Speech therapy.

I hope that answers a few of everyone’s questions. I promise once everything settles down for me I’ll be back to blogging regularly. Don’t forget to check out my YouTube and subscribe.

Here’s a link:

Xo Mia

I washed my husband’s feet!

Today I washed my husband’s feet, not just washed, but a full on pedicure; the absolute works of foot care and love.

Today was a humbling experience for me to do something so special for my husband who doesn’t ask or require much. Not only washing his feet showed love, service and humbleness; it also showed that I’m not above him. I am also his equal partner.

What made me decide to wash my husband feet? In the Bible it speaks about how people in the old days washed others feet as a sign of love, service and humility.

Jesus washed the feet of his disciples as a sign of humility.

Even the woman who had nothing and washed Jesus feet with her hair and tears. The lord was so blessed that she did this.

My husband is a very special man, he is the head of our home and does many things to provide us an exceptional life. A life that I’m truly grateful and blessed to have. My husband never complains about providing for us. I’m not sure of his daily struggles as a man however, I respect the things he faces and still remains the best husband and father. Each day he gets up super early in the mornings, put those hard steel combat boots on and goes to work. Not just any job but as United States Sailor.

I never realized all the stress my husband endures until I looked at his feet. His feet tell a story. A story that doesn’t get heard often. A story of a hard working man who does what he needs to do to provide for his family.

Honestly, I don’t like feet, never in a million years would I have thought of giving my husband a pedicure but it all changed.

It dawned on me that my husband always makes sure that my feet are well kept. My sweetie makes sure that my feet never have to endure what his feet have to encounter daily.

I could cry writing this post because I’m truly blessed at the hard working husband I have. A man who loves God and his family so much.

If you are a spouse, I challenge you to wash the feet of the one you love.

Thanks for reading!!

Oliver Family Vacation Orlando, Florida 2017

Recently my little family and I took a week vacation to Orlando, Florida. What an amazing time we had! Originally when my husband came home from deployment in May, our family was suppose to take one, but conflicting schedules made us push it out until December.

We decided we needed more than 3 days of having a family vacation. Time goes by so fast it’s harder to bounce back, so we decided 7 days should suffice.

The hotel that my family and I stayed at was the Hampton Inn. The Hilton Hotels are the only ones that I’ve found that meet all of our expectations and never disappoint.

SeaWorld

The weather in Orlando was absolutely perfect the entire time. It didn’t rain once, Florida is known to rain throughout the day; no rain for us just sun rays.

I really admire how much theme parks honor our military members. If you don’t know my husband currently serves in the Navy. Bush Gardens/ SeaWorld offers all military members one free day pass once a year including dependents. We didn’t have to pay for our pass for the day, only thing we paid for was parking and food. SeaWorld was an absolute blast. Jaxon, our son, loved seeing all the sea creatures-whales and sea otters. I’m glad we did the trip in December because the park was decorated with all the Christmas decor, trees and lights.

Legoland

What an amazing experience we all had at legoland! Another perfect day and unique sites we loved seeing. This attraction is a must do for all ages. I was so impressed with the section that Legoland had for toddlers. Our son Jaxon did not want to leave. We also got to see amazing structures made out of LEGOs.

Food for our entire trip was….GOOOOOOOD

Y’all when I say the food the entire time we were there was AMAZING, I mean it was AMAZING. If you didn’t know the traffic in Florida is bananas to drive in. I downloaded this app called UberEats(not sponsored).

This app was a complete life saver, basically you order food from anywhere and it’s delivered to you. This worked out to our advantage so that we didn’t have to drive in the crazy traffic.

Overall I’m so thankful to God to have had the chance to spend some much quality time with my boys. I loved every second of being with my husband and son. No set obligations or schedules to do anything or see anyone was the best. My favorite part was sleeping in. I can’t remember the last time when we all slept in past 8:30 a.m ,my husband is normally is up by 530 am back home for work. Sleep was such a luxury for the entire family.

This vacation was well needed and well deserved. We are already planning the next adventure. Thank you all so much for reading! See you in the next post.

Xo Mia Joy!

Taking Care Of My Mother; My profound experience

In my English class we had to write a paper about a profound experience that changed our lives forever. I have had many moments that changed me, for example, the day I got married and the day my son was born. I wanted to write about one of those moments but my English professor asked us to really search deep, choose an experience we haven’t shared and write about it.

So I did just that, I never shared what happened with my mother and finally opened up through my writing.

Without giving too many details or sharing my mother’s testimony because it’s not my story to completely tell; my mother was suppose die 4 years ago. With all the complications from surgery, losing her leg, having a mini stroke and being in a coma; my mother wasn’t suppose to make it.

The doctors told us to say our final goodbyes because my mother wasn’t going to make it through the night.

I’ll never forget that profound moment because it happened on my twenty fifth birthday.

My mother survived but she hasn’t been the same ever since.

Recently my husband and I made the decision to become my mothers full time caregivers. Being a caregiver is a twenty four hour job and commitment.

In my heart, I knew no one else could take care of my mommy like I could. Late nights and early mornings of being the care that she needs; we do everything with love and compassion for her.

The lord tells us to honor thy mother and father. I don’t have my biological dad in my life and my mom has always been the number one lady to me. It’s only right that I be here for her like she was there for me.

Although my sister and I do majority of everything for our mother, we wouldn’t change a thing. (My sister is amazing by the way, I have a future post about her soon.)

My mother is simply AMAZING, strong and the toughest woman I know. My family and I will continue to fight for her, love her and provide the best care.

I don’t know why things happened the way that they did, but I do know God gave my mom me and chose me to step in to be one of her biggest advocates.

I have learned patience, to have a humble heart, to not take simple things for granted and to love my mother more while I still have her.

My faith in God has become stronger because I need him for strength and guidance. I honestly don’t think I could do this without God, my sister and my partner aka awesome husband. The sacrifices we each make doesn’t always get recognized or even rewarded. Having my support system has been great.

As a matter of fact, I got an B on my English paper.

I don’t know what the future holds but I do know my family loves my mommy. I really believe in my heart she’s going to better than she ever was.

It is my prayer that if I ever need my son Jaxon that he will be there for me. My son watches me, and listens to how I deal with being a caregiver so that’s why we are teaching him now to always have empathy, compassion and most important love.

Thanks for reading.