Why doesn’t your child talk?

Why doesn’t your child talk?

One of the most common questions I get asked on a regular basis.

Can I be honest? It makes me a little upset and uneasy when people ask why my child doesn’t talk.

Only because I’m doing everything in my power to help my child. From reading books, explaining everything and making up songs.

My son Jaxon has been in speech therapy for almost a year. He went from not communicating at all to actually using his words. Just because my son isn’t using as many words as he should at this point it’s a red flag and we are working on correcting it the best way we know how.

Most 2 year olds are having full conversations with their parents but that’s not the case with my child.

I refuse to put labels on my son even though people try to.

As a parent I’m doing everything in my power to help my son but it’s taking more time and more patience.

I wish people wouldn’t be so judgmental and understand that it’s not easy being two years old; being two and not saying your name.

I know that Jaxon is extremely smart and he does have a sensory problem and is very particular about everything.

When Jaxon really wants something he will tell me.

As of now we will continue with speech therapy and we have to see a specialist soon to make sure it’s nothing more than just a speech delay and sensory issue.

My God has big plans for Jaxon according to his word. Plans to give Jaxon a hope and a future. I will continue to encourage my big boy. I know Jaxon will use his voice in the future to help those who don’t have one. One of the best things my husband and I could ever do for Jaxon is to love, encourage and have patience with him.

So the next time you want to ask me why my child doesn’t talk like your two year old or like other two year olds, just remember we are working on it.

Please be considerate because you just don’t know the situation.

Thanks for reading!

Taking Care Of My Mother; My profound experience

In my English class we had to write a paper about a profound experience that changed our lives forever. I have had many moments that changed me, for example, the day I got married and the day my son was born. I wanted to write about one of those moments but my English professor asked us to really search deep, choose an experience we haven’t shared and write about it.

So I did just that, I never shared what happened with my mother and finally opened up through my writing.

Without giving too many details or sharing my mother’s testimony because it’s not my story to completely tell; my mother was suppose die 4 years ago. With all the complications from surgery, losing her leg, having a mini stroke and being in a coma; my mother wasn’t suppose to make it.

The doctors told us to say our final goodbyes because my mother wasn’t going to make it through the night.

I’ll never forget that profound moment because it happened on my twenty fifth birthday.

My mother survived but she hasn’t been the same ever since.

Recently my husband and I made the decision to become my mothers full time caregivers. Being a caregiver is a twenty four hour job and commitment.

In my heart, I knew no one else could take care of my mommy like I could. Late nights and early mornings of being the care that she needs; we do everything with love and compassion for her.

The lord tells us to honor thy mother and father. I don’t have my biological dad in my life and my mom has always been the number one lady to me. It’s only right that I be here for her like she was there for me.

Although my sister and I do majority of everything for our mother, we wouldn’t change a thing. (My sister is amazing by the way, I have a future post about her soon.)

My mother is simply AMAZING, strong and the toughest woman I know. My family and I will continue to fight for her, love her and provide the best care.

I don’t know why things happened the way that they did, but I do know God gave my mom me and chose me to step in to be one of her biggest advocates.

I have learned patience, to have a humble heart, to not take simple things for granted and to love my mother more while I still have her.

My faith in God has become stronger because I need him for strength and guidance. I honestly don’t think I could do this without God, my sister and my partner aka awesome husband. The sacrifices we each make doesn’t always get recognized or even rewarded. Having my support system has been great.

As a matter of fact, I got an B on my English paper.

I don’t know what the future holds but I do know my family loves my mommy. I really believe in my heart she’s going to better than she ever was.

It is my prayer that if I ever need my son Jaxon that he will be there for me. My son watches me, and listens to how I deal with being a caregiver so that’s why we are teaching him now to always have empathy, compassion and most important love.

Thanks for reading.

What is FRIENDSHIP?

Everyone you meet isn’t your friend
Over many years of my life I’ve learned everyone you meet isn’t your friend and you can’t force positive vibes; either the good vibes are there or not.

Friendships shouldn’t have envious behavior, jealousy or be stress in your life.

Your time is precious 
One of the most precious things you can give people is your time. Have you ever had a friendship and/or a relationship that ended and think about all time and energy you wasted? That’s why it’s important on who you give your time to, who you decide to invest yourself in.

I love the friendships that are organic and you don’t have to force it.

Let’s be honest about online friendships 

One of the things I love most about social media is how many friends you get to make across the world that you would have never known before social media .I find a lot of fascinating, beautiful ,crafty, like minded people and think , “wow we would be great friends in real life”; and why don’t you live closer to me to hang out? Many people feel the same way about me.

I’ve met some incredible people online and have made life long friendships. 
Let’s be honest for a moment and real because stuff happens when you meet internet friends; I’ve also met some people who aren’t exactly who they portray themselves online, total opposite . I honestly get disappointed when I meet people and they aren’t like anything I imagined. The vibes are off and immediately I know that the friendship is not going anywhere. 

Revenge Friendships 

Don’t expect people to be friends with you and your enemies. The thing I hate most in this world, is when your “friend”(I say friend loosely) wants to be friends with you and a person you don’t care for/dislike. There obviously is no loyalty in that friend. I know from personal experience that once I’m not dealing with certain individuals aka “friends”, I always found out where my other “friends” loyalty was. The invites became less and the communication would eventually die. But hey, it was better that way of knowing what type of people I was dealing with.

I ’ve had enemies whose sole purpose was to get back at me and to be friends with my friends because I stopped being friends with them.

Have you ever thought, your enemies wouldn’t even know your friend if it wasn’t for you?

 Just know that anyone who breaks bread with your enemies is not YOUR friend. 
I keep thinking about how Judas betrayed Jesus. Judas hung around Jesus, knew all the ins and outs, had access to some of the most crucial information and still betrayed Jesus. Judas said he loved Jesus and plotted against the very person he claimed to adore. Sometimes it’s better to have no friends than a bunch of fake ones. 

One sides friendships

I dislike when friendships are one sided, you put out all the work and effort while the other person is lacking in all the departments. It’s true once you become an adult that you have other priorities first before entertaining others, your friendships can lack that stabilization or be put on the back burner. I’m so thankful for the friends who know I fall short sometimes but honestly know I’m there if they need me. I’m not talking about that, I’m speaking about when you have friends who don’t put fourth any effort. They never call or text you and expect you to do all the work.

I can always count on you friendships

I have about 2 people in my life besides my husband and sister I know that I can call them anytime no matter what time of day it is and they would listen. I have those same people I can talk to on the phone about absolutely nothing and know I wouldn’t be judged for being me. Being authentic to yourself is being authentic to others. Friendships where you have to pretend to be something you’re not is stressful and unnecessary.

 Anything that cost you your peace is way too expensive.

 
I love the friendships where you don’t have to compete with one another. I’ve learned from the past that someone can hang with you and secretly hate you, envy you and be jealous for no reason. That friendship wasn’t authentic and that’s why it ended badly. It’s hard having a friendship with someone who wants to be you.  People are crazy, it’s always best to cut those friendships off if it gets toxic. I’m that person who will cut you off with no explanation if you’re toxic to me.
Some of the best creations in the entire world are the block button and delete account button.

Friends forever
I don’t have many friends now and I’m 28. There was a time when I was the life of the party, I would go out for drinks, be wild and EVERYONE was my friend. When I started to find myself I began to lose“friends” that no longer was interested in the person I was becoming.

Let’s face it, as you grow up you have to leave some people behind. I’ve mentioned in a previous post before, that not everyone is going to be part of every chapter of life. Most times people are just lessons and teach us something or we teach them.
Now the people I’m still friends with, who have seen me at my worst and at my best, those are the friendships I value.. 

It’s better to have 1 good friend than a handful of fake, bitter, envious and negative vibes friends. 

The time you give to people can NEVER BE GIVEN BACK.

In the end I always say be the friend that you need or want. Be kind, be there when needed, love unconditionally, and pray for your friends

A friend that prays 
The best type of friend to have and the best friend to be is the praying friend. My faith has been getting stronger and stronger; I know that my help and strength comes from God. A person who prays for you, prays with you and walks with God is a friend to have. Prayer moves mountains and strengthens faith with God. Most times you’re believing for God to do a miraculous thing. When you can say a prayer for me, I know that you love me. And when I say a prayer for you, know that I love you.

Pray for your friends and your enemies. 


(Image courtesy of google, I do not own the rights or image)
Thanks so much for reading!

Diagnosed With Anxiety: Mental Health 

In honor of mental health day I wanted to share a little bit about my struggles.
I’m not ashamed to say that I suffer from anxiety, severe anxiety. I have always have dealt with it, just without help. But recently my anxiety has become so bad, self coping no longer worked. As a person who carries so much weight mentally, my body and my mind said it’s time for help. 

Me being in college has intensified my anxiety and I feel like I just can’t fail. Have you ever studied so much that you forget all the information you just retained? I’m that person who forgets it all and panic. I tried relaxing but it doesn’t work.

If you suffer from anxiety you fear a lot of things and situations. I must admit now that my walk is stronger with Christ, I’m able to not fear as much. I’m asking God to help me deal with my issues and leaning on him to carry me through.

The Bible says God didn’t give us the spirit of fear, and usually fear is the trick of the enemy(the devil). 

I hate that my anxiety has been so bad lately, I went to my primary doctor for some much needed help and intervention. My doctor who is an awesome woman, physician, military spouse is very amazing and actually cares. 
It was very important to me to address my concerns and recent events that have led up to this point that made me break down inside. 

Sometimes being strong for too long has its effects.

The mind is so fascinating that it never sleeps, even when your body sleeps. My mind is one that never knows when to turn the light off and rest. My brain is constantly thinking about every situation or how I could make something different.
I always knew I was different when it came to how I react to certain situations. Most times when I have to make a decision; I’m constantly wondering if I made the right one and if it’s going to be okay. Looking at all sides and realities of what’s going to happen by the decision that was made.

I love being a mother,wife and college student,but I also have other roles. If you don’t know me personally, allow me to fill you in on one of the BIGGEST roles and titles I carry; I’m one of my mother’s primary caretakers. Without going into much detail, being a caretaker is a challenging job. I’m not complaining but my anxiety has reached a point where my doctor said it’s time for meds. 

“You have severe anxiety and we need to treat this now Mrs.Oliver”! My doctor did not want that route of placing me on meds, but my anxiety has a way of making me not sleep. My mind never shuts off and I’m constantly thinking about EVERYTHING. I saw this meme that someone google how tall was Jesus? It made me laugh because I’m that person who googles all night long.

I wish people understood that it’s hard being me, hard feeling like I don’t have enough time for anything or anyone. It’s true that it’s not enough time in the day to accomplish every single task.
I smile and I’m happy most days, I just worry too much. I know that with time it will get easier to manage my anxiety; I just wish people understood me more and not so quick to judge me.

The last several months, weeks and days have been a struggle for me personally.Next time when you think I might be avoiding you or keeping my distance, just know it’s not on purpose. I’m learning to to take care of me for once. 

Mental health is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s okay seeking professional help. I’m still debating if I will see some kind of therapist to help me cope with my load. I have such an amazing support system that it’s almost like my family are my therapist.

As of right now I’m confident that with help from my doctor my diagnosis will be treated effectively. I will give an update in a few months. Thanks for reading!!! Feel free to ask me questions as well.

Potty training the good, the bad and the ugly( A mother’s perspective)

Potty training the good, the bad and the ugly
My son Jaxon is two and a half years old. For the last several months we have been working on potty training. Let me first say that potty training is not for the faint heart. Potty training requires a lot of patience and tons of consistency. For the longest time I didn’t think I would survive this chapter of parenting. Teething, crawling, walking and sleeping weren’t as challenging as potty training was.

There were times when I cried, times when I was so frustrated and now I’m so proud of my child accomplishing this chapter. Honestly, I have to thank his preschool for helping me out so much. Two days out of the week Jaxon goes to preschool, they keep track of when he goes to the restroom and stays dry. The communication between the preschool and I has been phenomenal.

There was a time I felt like a complete failure as a parent because potty training wasn’t going like I envisioned. Months ago I became frustrated and wanted this chapter to be over and done with.

Truth be told, I cried countless days over my child not getting it. Finally I made up my mind that I just needed to be consistent and that encouragement for Jaxon would be best. I began to ask friends what methods worked for them. Many of my friends recommended naked from the waste down. Although it had it’s disgusting moments such as my son peeing and pooping on the floor, it definitely helped. I also tried leaving my son with underwear on so that when he felt wet he would not like it and want to stay dry, It worked too. We also tried buying a training potty and a toddler toilet seat for Jaxon to use. 
(Both are cost effective, under $13 dollars at Target and Walmart)

**(All images are courtesy of google imaging, I do not own any rights)**
I know each child is different when it comes to what they would like to use, my child personally loved the toddler seat for over the toilet. Every tip and trick to get Jaxon using the potty I tried doing. I tried bribing with lollipops and gave cookies when he went potty. Whatever works right? 
It’s so easy to get discouraged when other children his age were potty training faster and I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong.

I have never been grossed out like the time when my child took the biggest dump on the floor especially when I had just taken him to use the potty. If you ever tried cleaning poop up off cream carpet,then you can understand my frustration. When I say I felt like I about died, I about died. One of the best investments I ever made is purchasing a carpet cleaner. Amen. A life saver, highly recommend to parents every where.

(All images are courtesy of google imaging, I do not own any rights)
Eventually it was time for me to start school and Jaxon to start preschool. When I tell you that the preschool helped us so much, I mean it.
Jaxon is still learning to use his words, the way he communicates to use the bathroom is by going to the door, the pee dance, or ” the face”.

  

Finally the time came when Jaxon was doing great at home and in school potty training. The biggest test would see how he did when we went out in public away from home or school. Jaxon passed with flying colors. I still carry extra clothes and underwear just in case of an accident. Kids have accidents believe it or not. I still encourage and tell Jaxon how proud of him we are. 
We still do pull-ups at night time only because he still doesn’t wake up to go pee. Overall my child is doing amazing.


If you’re reading this and need some encouragement just know it gets better. The key to potty training is lots of patience, consistency, persistence and encouraging your child. Every time Jaxon pee’s or poops in the potty, we clap and celebrate him for doing an outstanding job.
Although potty training changed my life it also changed my toddler as well. 

Thanks for reading !

School: The First Week

School has officially started!
My son Jaxon started preschool and it was one of the most emotional days I’ve experienced.

Tuesday morning at 6 am was wake up call. I randomly made up a song called “Ready for school”. Singing the song enthusiastically, loud and proud to my baby boy who was knocked out in a sleep coma. 

Slowly but surely a big smile appeared on Jaxon’s face. As I said are you ready for school, he was fully awake.

Once Jaxon brushed his teeth and fully dressed I prepared him a very light breakfast of grapes and juice. The night before I prepared his backpack of all his items needed for school and set them out ready to go for the morning.

Dropping Jaxon off was so difficult for me. As we walked in the building hand in hand, my heart was happy. Jaxon was excited to start school. No tears on his part. I didn’t even say bye, I just rushed out so I wouldn’t cry.

Once I got back to my car I just sat there thinking my little baby is really in school. Being excited and emotional all at the same time because I’ve been home with my baby since he was born and I wasn’t ready to leave him just yet.

This would be the only time I would take my son to school because my husband will be dropping and picking him up each day. The first day was truly special to me that I got to take my big boy to preschool.

As I’ve stated in previous blog post, I have been out of school awhile and my nerves were super high, my anxiety was on 100. Not only was the day my son’s first day but it was also my first day as a college student. 

I ended up getting to my school 30 mins before my first class. I parked way in no mans land because parking was atrocious. There I sat in my car listening to music and asking God to give me confidence to be more than a conqueror.

After about 15 minutes I headed to my first class. I got a good seat right in the front. I ended up doing the same thing for my second class English.

Overall I had a good day learning new things and meeting people. Honestly, the first day was a little overwhelming with all the information and writing. I’m confident that once I get into the swing of things with managing school, it will all come natural.

The best feeling in the entire world was when my husband and son came home. Seeing my family at the ended of the day made me realize why I’m doing this college thing. To obtain an education and degree to make myself and family proud.

Jaxon had a great first day at preschool, he walked in the front door happy and ran to give me a hug. The teacher said Jaxon did so well.

The end of the school week ended well. After my last class I stayed behind for some tutoring to freshen up some skills I had forgotten in math. It’s amazing how much you forget in a ten year span. Leaving tutoring I felt confident enough to know I can do this. College amazes me with all the resources they provide students, you just need to know how to use them effectively. This time around I’m taking advantage of everything the college has to offer.

Hopefully over time you all will see my writing improve on this blog. I know my English class will help me polish up all my grammatical errors, run on sentences and whatever else is in writing .

Thanks for reading!