What is FRIENDSHIP?

Everyone you meet isn’t your friend
Over many years of my life I’ve learned everyone you meet isn’t your friend and you can’t force positive vibes; either the good vibes are there or not.

Friendships shouldn’t have envious behavior, jealousy or be stress in your life.

Your time is precious 
One of the most precious things you can give people is your time. Have you ever had a friendship and/or a relationship that ended and think about all time and energy you wasted? That’s why it’s important on who you give your time to, who you decide to invest yourself in.

I love the friendships that are organic and you don’t have to force it.

Let’s be honest about online friendships 

One of the things I love most about social media is how many friends you get to make across the world that you would have never known before social media .I find a lot of fascinating, beautiful ,crafty, like minded people and think , “wow we would be great friends in real life”; and why don’t you live closer to me to hang out? Many people feel the same way about me.

I’ve met some incredible people online and have made life long friendships. 
Let’s be honest for a moment and real because stuff happens when you meet internet friends; I’ve also met some people who aren’t exactly who they portray themselves online, total opposite . I honestly get disappointed when I meet people and they aren’t like anything I imagined. The vibes are off and immediately I know that the friendship is not going anywhere. 

Revenge Friendships 

Don’t expect people to be friends with you and your enemies. The thing I hate most in this world, is when your “friend”(I say friend loosely) wants to be friends with you and a person you don’t care for/dislike. There obviously is no loyalty in that friend. I know from personal experience that once I’m not dealing with certain individuals aka “friends”, I always found out where my other “friends” loyalty was. The invites became less and the communication would eventually die. But hey, it was better that way of knowing what type of people I was dealing with.

I ’ve had enemies whose sole purpose was to get back at me and to be friends with my friends because I stopped being friends with them.

Have you ever thought, your enemies wouldn’t even know your friend if it wasn’t for you?

 Just know that anyone who breaks bread with your enemies is not YOUR friend. 
I keep thinking about how Judas betrayed Jesus. Judas hung around Jesus, knew all the ins and outs, had access to some of the most crucial information and still betrayed Jesus. Judas said he loved Jesus and plotted against the very person he claimed to adore. Sometimes it’s better to have no friends than a bunch of fake ones. 

One sides friendships

I dislike when friendships are one sided, you put out all the work and effort while the other person is lacking in all the departments. It’s true once you become an adult that you have other priorities first before entertaining others, your friendships can lack that stabilization or be put on the back burner. I’m so thankful for the friends who know I fall short sometimes but honestly know I’m there if they need me. I’m not talking about that, I’m speaking about when you have friends who don’t put fourth any effort. They never call or text you and expect you to do all the work.

I can always count on you friendships

I have about 2 people in my life besides my husband and sister I know that I can call them anytime no matter what time of day it is and they would listen. I have those same people I can talk to on the phone about absolutely nothing and know I wouldn’t be judged for being me. Being authentic to yourself is being authentic to others. Friendships where you have to pretend to be something you’re not is stressful and unnecessary.

 Anything that cost you your peace is way too expensive.

 
I love the friendships where you don’t have to compete with one another. I’ve learned from the past that someone can hang with you and secretly hate you, envy you and be jealous for no reason. That friendship wasn’t authentic and that’s why it ended badly. It’s hard having a friendship with someone who wants to be you.  People are crazy, it’s always best to cut those friendships off if it gets toxic. I’m that person who will cut you off with no explanation if you’re toxic to me.
Some of the best creations in the entire world are the block button and delete account button.

Friends forever
I don’t have many friends now and I’m 28. There was a time when I was the life of the party, I would go out for drinks, be wild and EVERYONE was my friend. When I started to find myself I began to lose“friends” that no longer was interested in the person I was becoming.

Let’s face it, as you grow up you have to leave some people behind. I’ve mentioned in a previous post before, that not everyone is going to be part of every chapter of life. Most times people are just lessons and teach us something or we teach them.
Now the people I’m still friends with, who have seen me at my worst and at my best, those are the friendships I value.. 

It’s better to have 1 good friend than a handful of fake, bitter, envious and negative vibes friends. 

The time you give to people can NEVER BE GIVEN BACK.

In the end I always say be the friend that you need or want. Be kind, be there when needed, love unconditionally, and pray for your friends

A friend that prays 
The best type of friend to have and the best friend to be is the praying friend. My faith has been getting stronger and stronger; I know that my help and strength comes from God. A person who prays for you, prays with you and walks with God is a friend to have. Prayer moves mountains and strengthens faith with God. Most times you’re believing for God to do a miraculous thing. When you can say a prayer for me, I know that you love me. And when I say a prayer for you, know that I love you.

Pray for your friends and your enemies. 


(Image courtesy of google, I do not own the rights or image)
Thanks so much for reading!

Diagnosed With Anxiety: Mental Health 

In honor of mental health day I wanted to share a little bit about my struggles.
I’m not ashamed to say that I suffer from anxiety, severe anxiety. I have always have dealt with it, just without help. But recently my anxiety has become so bad, self coping no longer worked. As a person who carries so much weight mentally, my body and my mind said it’s time for help. 

Me being in college has intensified my anxiety and I feel like I just can’t fail. Have you ever studied so much that you forget all the information you just retained? I’m that person who forgets it all and panic. I tried relaxing but it doesn’t work.

If you suffer from anxiety you fear a lot of things and situations. I must admit now that my walk is stronger with Christ, I’m able to not fear as much. I’m asking God to help me deal with my issues and leaning on him to carry me through.

The Bible says God didn’t give us the spirit of fear, and usually fear is the trick of the enemy(the devil). 

I hate that my anxiety has been so bad lately, I went to my primary doctor for some much needed help and intervention. My doctor who is an awesome woman, physician, military spouse is very amazing and actually cares. 
It was very important to me to address my concerns and recent events that have led up to this point that made me break down inside. 

Sometimes being strong for too long has its effects.

The mind is so fascinating that it never sleeps, even when your body sleeps. My mind is one that never knows when to turn the light off and rest. My brain is constantly thinking about every situation or how I could make something different.
I always knew I was different when it came to how I react to certain situations. Most times when I have to make a decision; I’m constantly wondering if I made the right one and if it’s going to be okay. Looking at all sides and realities of what’s going to happen by the decision that was made.

I love being a mother,wife and college student,but I also have other roles. If you don’t know me personally, allow me to fill you in on one of the BIGGEST roles and titles I carry; I’m one of my mother’s primary caretakers. Without going into much detail, being a caretaker is a challenging job. I’m not complaining but my anxiety has reached a point where my doctor said it’s time for meds. 

“You have severe anxiety and we need to treat this now Mrs.Oliver”! My doctor did not want that route of placing me on meds, but my anxiety has a way of making me not sleep. My mind never shuts off and I’m constantly thinking about EVERYTHING. I saw this meme that someone google how tall was Jesus? It made me laugh because I’m that person who googles all night long.

I wish people understood that it’s hard being me, hard feeling like I don’t have enough time for anything or anyone. It’s true that it’s not enough time in the day to accomplish every single task.
I smile and I’m happy most days, I just worry too much. I know that with time it will get easier to manage my anxiety; I just wish people understood me more and not so quick to judge me.

The last several months, weeks and days have been a struggle for me personally.Next time when you think I might be avoiding you or keeping my distance, just know it’s not on purpose. I’m learning to to take care of me for once. 

Mental health is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s okay seeking professional help. I’m still debating if I will see some kind of therapist to help me cope with my load. I have such an amazing support system that it’s almost like my family are my therapist.

As of right now I’m confident that with help from my doctor my diagnosis will be treated effectively. I will give an update in a few months. Thanks for reading!!! Feel free to ask me questions as well.