I know I’ve shared bits and pieces of my testimony of how I’ve been through so much in my life.
So many decisions of others and the consequences of their actions that has shaped the individual that I am.
I decided to share a piece of my journey to forgiveness and restoring my faith.
My husband was deployed 15 months. If you haven’t ever experienced a deployment, it’s where your significant other is away serving their (our)country.
Being a military family is hard especially when you have children. So much falls on the other parent. The responsibilities that the spouse takes on is a lot, almost too much for someone. Instead of taking on one role, you take on two.
I had to make decisions sometimes without my husband, sometimes the decisions were difficult.
Having to rely on yourself and family is tough. I have said this and I won’t ever stop saying this but my family was and is always my BIGGEST support system. I got really blessed in that department.
I had friends and other people who said they were going to be there fo my son and I when my husband deployed and never was. I barely got a phone calls. Seemed like everyone was dropping like flies.
Deployment really changed me and my thought process to everyone.
I had a sense of high expectations for people and they failed because I placed the bar so high.
I had to get to a place where I wasn’t going to let people hurt my feelings. So I stop caring. When you stop caring it can be very dangerous. Not only dangerous for you but for them. If they didn’t care at all, why should I was my thoughts.
Unforgiveness can weigh on your heart and God says we must forgive so that we can be forgiven.
I started to read my bible more, shifting my focus. I became the person I needed. I started to encourage myself. I started praying more. Most times I didn’t know what to pray. Building my faith up stronger and stronger.
Going to church consistently
I started going back to church consistently a few months before my husband came back home. I had to make myself go. I realized that church was where I needed to be. It was one of the greatest decisions I made. Surrounded by God’s love and God’s people. Church has been so uplifting for me.
I was so worried that others didn’t show they cared that I had people who genuinely loved my son and I all along in God’s house. Everything that was lacking was sitting right in the Lords house. My sister Shanae is the BEST person in my life. My sister and family have been truly amazing. If you ever need someone to encourage you with God’s word, go to her. Shanae would and still calls me to make sure I’m showing up for church. It makes me laugh sometimes because she doesn’t need to call anymore because I’m consistent in my walk now. I appreciate her doing it though.
One day I received this ugly text message that I have screened shot(not worth sharing). That was so mean, hateful, and rude. This message was from an unknown person. This person tried to hurt my feelings.
The person who sent it obviously had an issue but it made me think they had an issue not me. It was so random, especially because I never thought I would get something like that. I’m building my faith and then this message shows up.
What made me upset is that the person questioned my faith and mentioned my child. Two things I don’t EVER play about is my child and my God. I really had to ask God to forgive me and the person whom ever they were.
I will never understand why people are malicious.
I’m honestly on a road to forgiveness to all the people who have hurt me. I thank God for Jesus. Forgiveness is one of the hardest things, you’re going to forgive someone(s) who may never apologize or think they have done you wrong. God showed me people’s true colors for whom they really are. I believed it the first time. I won’t let people hurt me again. Instead I pray for them and keep my distance. Praying for people is one of the best things you could ever do.
God is STILL
God is STILL working on me. I’m not worthy some days, but God has showed me he loves me. Even though times I felt alone during deployment,Jesus never left me. Jesus was holding me up when I was weak.
I’m thankful that the brokenness that WAS, the hurt that hurt me lead me straight back to God. I now know I’m more than a conqueror and everything that happens to me, I already have the victory in.
God bless the broken road that led me back to him
Thanks for reading!