Today I wanted to break a few common myths about stay at home moms. Many times people have this idea of what a SAHM does or doesn’t do. I felt compelled to tell my side of things. I can’t speak for every sahm or stay at home parent, only myself.
What works for my family may not necessarily work for yours.
We are lazy
That is far from the truth. Many times people think that all stay at home moms sit around all day eating bon-bons watching trash television. We don’t clean and just spend money.
I know for me personally, I’m cleaning multiple times a day because I have a highly active toddler. I have to manage schedules, doctors appointments,therapy sessions, never ending laundry,our dog, pay bills, organize, teach my child, and play. The list is so long and never ending.
I use to love nap time when my son took them. Nap time was a time for me to catch up on house work, or even take a minute for myself to relax. Now days my two year old skips naps and I never get a break. I have the highest respect for moms who work and have to still come home and do all the things I do. But at least they get a break , SAHM doesn’t, it’s a constant go-go field. We are with our children 24/7 if they’re not in school. Most sahm’s I know have multiple children or children that are under the age of 5.
We let ourselves go
I can’t speak for all sahm, but for me I know I can be rocking the bum look during the week. I don’t wear makeup or do my hair all fancy during the week. But I always make sure if we are going somewhere or if it’s the weekend to put more effort into my appearance. I always want my husband to be proud to have me on his arm and by his side. Sometimes if I’m motivated, one day out the week I’ll get fancy and send my husband a cute picture of myself. Those are my favorite, makes him excited to come home.
We are broke
So many times people assume because you’re a stay at home parent you are broke. For some that might be true, but for my family that’s not true. Because I handle all our finances, I’m constantly budgeting and saving money. We live in our means and aren’t spending frivolously. My parents growing up taught me a value of a dollar and to know where our money goes.
My husband controls me
That one always makes me laugh. So many people assume that because my husband is the bread winner he controls me. I always giggle at that one. I don’t know about other folks marriages; But my husband sees me as an equal. He may be the head of our household, but he never looks down on me because I’m not working outside the home. I do so much caring for our child and maintaining the house.
*If your spouse makes you feel bad for not working then that’s a whole separate issue.
*My husband has never made me feel bad, ever.
I’m obligated to have a clean home and cook every day.
Now I will say I do try to make sure my house is at least picked up and have some sort of dinner plan going. My husband doesn’t expect me to have the house perfect every single day or dinner done by the time he’s in the door. It’s all about what he expects. Expectations versus perception. Folks perceive certain obligations because of their situations. As I stated before, what works for my family may not work for yours. My husband and I know our roles and we both perform them well. The last seven in a half years of marriage proves that.
You’re not contributing
I may not be earning an income, but that doesn’t mean I’m not contributing. One of the main things I’m doing in my home is taking care of our son, teaching, and playing with him. I do so many things behind the scenes that doesn’t always gets noticed or applauds. Working is great but it’s not everything. Money is nice but it’s not everything. Time is so important, it’s something you never get back. I’m happy with my choice and you should be too. I love the life I have with no regrets. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Fun fact: Did you know I’m a supportive wife? I love to pray and intercede for my husband. I love to encourage him especially when life gets stressful. I’m more than just a wife. I’m THAT WIFE AND MOM!
I don’t have goals or dreams
Some people dream of being famous, being teachers or doctors. But people like myself dreamt of being a good SAHM and wife there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a great parent and spouse. As long as you’re doing the best at what you love. There is a quote that says “if you love what you do, you never have to work a day in your life”. I love being a mom, a great mom. This is something no one can take from me but God.
I didn’t give up my goals. I always wanted to finish college and get my degree. Guess who is my number one supporter? Yup, my husband.
I’m attending college in the Fall( read my previous blog post.)
PLEASE DON’T make us feel guilty for choosing to stay home.
Please don’t make stay at home moms feel guilty for staying home taking care of their family. We would never make you feel guilty for working and doing what you needed for your family. We all work hard for our families, we just do it in different ways.
Thanks for reading!
Xo Mia 😘