(Image courtesy of google images)
As many of you know my husband will be home relatively soon. And as we get closer and closer to the date of his return, it’s a certain anxiety I’m starting to have. If you read the title you guessed it, I have a little fear. I have a slight fear of change and letting go. Every military spouse experience this type of anxiety. It actually comes and goes in cycles because of this military life style. You experience your significant other being home, helping you, doing their share of duties. And then you experience the other side of your significant other being away/deployed/out to sea, and you’re doing things on your own. It never gets easier.
Can I be honest with you all? We are friends right? Well, I am super excited for my husband to come home. I have missed being in his presence doing absolutely nothing, random date nights, family nights and doing all the things families do. But I also have anxiety of letting go. What do you mean by letting go? It has been over a year that I have been doing things on my own. Having a schedule, doing things a certain way and being the main parent making decisions. Although my husband is the head of our household, I have had to make executive decisions on his behalf. Some small decisions and some big decisions. I had to act as if he was here with me and trust I made good choices, especially if I couldn’t reach my husband. Now I have to prepare to turn back over that role to my husband. I’m excited to give that responsibility back,but I’m also nervous. I haven’t read any articles that talk about the real transitions that you have to go through as a military spouse.
This is where my anxiety kicks in, how will we adjust to this? Is this transition going to be easy and smooth or is it going to hard and complicated? My husband and I have an understanding of the roles that we have in our marriage. And many things will be changing. I’m currently a homemaker and keep everything running smooth. My husband as I mentioned before is the head of the house hold, provider and keeps our family. A few more task will be added as far as I will be starting school and my husband will be in school as well. I’m not sure how I will do with school because I haven’t had to do class work in 10 years. I’m excited for this new chapter,but nervous on how I balance it with my homemaker role and also being a great mother and wife.
I talked about my fear and anxiety. Guess what? I have to also consider my husband transition too. My husband is going to have to transition from living alone, complete silence, eating take out everyday to being home with us. It’s not so quiet at home because we have a 2 year old. My husband and I will have to share each other space. Plus I cook dinner most nights( that’s a plus, lol).
The main thing will be reconnecting with another on all levels emotionally, and physically.I know I shouldn’t have anxiety or fear, but I know God will keep my family and our faith will keep us strong. We will have to lean on God to help us transition smoothly.
I hope this post helps at least one person. Just know you are NOT alone.
Thank you all so much for reading. I will see you in the next post. For more updates you can follow us on YouTube: SparklesandSippycups Tv. Here’s a link